


Half Sure

by orphan_account



Category: Half Life Trilogy - Sally Green
Genre: How I think Half Lost will go, M/M, Post-Half Lost, warning: i cant write for shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3948994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Council has been defeated, Witches are somewhat free, but Nathan has a couple more cages to break through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Sure

**Author's Note:**

> im a terrible writer pls bear with me
> 
> this is my first fic on AO3 and my first half bad fic!!

Annalise is here.

 

I don't know how to feel about her now. She shot my father, unleashing a horrific chain of events that I wish I could forget but I can't. The taste of Marcus's blood on my tongue and throat won't wash away, not now, not ever. It's _her_ fault he's dead, _her_ fault I'm burdened with his blood on my hands, _her_ fault I had to deal with a myriad of his Gifts. Her fault, her fault, her fault.

 

It's her fault she couldn't handle what I've become.

 

It's her fault she couldn't handle a Black Witch.

 

And now she's standing before me, her eyes brimming with tears. Her tan, beautiful face is red and blotchy, the face I kissed a thousand times before. She's blubbering about how after she had gone, Hunters caught her and she was made a prisoner in the Council. She couldn't leave no matter how much she pleaded, and she was even hit a few times. She keeps talking about how she was so worried about me, how she wanted to come see me all the time. And now that Soul O'Brien is dead, she thinks that we could easily return to what we were before. I watch her, quiet as she talks.

 

"You believe me right?" she whispers.

 

I stay silent for a while before I answer gently. "I don't know, Annalise. I just don't know."

 

"What do you mean you don't know?" she sobs. "Don't you trust me?"

 

I choke up and reach to touch her cheek and wipe away some tears. She's warm. Probably from crying. I can't believe that after all that happened, after all the evidence that she is lying to my face, that she has betrayed me, I still care about her. Not as I did before, though.

 

My voice is shaky as I whisper, "I don't think so."

 

I can't stand anymore of this and I leave the cell she was being held in. After they close the door, I look in through the window. She's curled up on the floor, crying. Her cell could barely be considered a cell. It had a bed, a lamp, a bathroom. A small apartment. And she was whimpering about how it was a prison.

 

I turn away and my feet take me to the lounge where I know Gabriel is waiting, one of the many lounges there are in the Council building. The Alliance had stormed the place in a final successful attempt at Soul's and Mr. Wallend's lives. I don't think the animal left much of Mr. Wallend on the floor.

 

I enter and there he is. He's polishing his gun, a cup of coffee on the table. I almost laugh at how he looks so calm just after a political attack. Celia must be handling the paperwork with Van as we speak.

 

He looks up as I come in. I think he can tell by the way I look what happened, but he makes no move towards me. Instead he sets down his gun and just says, "You believed her story, didn't you." He doesn't say it as a question.

 

"Somewhat." I go to sit next to him on the table and tell him Annalise's plight.

 

"You can't really believe all that," he says when I'm done. He holds his coffee mug as if he's going to drink from it but he doesn't move it.

 

"I want to believe it. She's Annalise. You know how I feel about her."

 

"Do you really still think you love her?" He fixes me with his stare, the gold in his eyes glinting. "After everything that's happened?"

 

"I thought I could get past all that," I argue, but I know that's not the reason.

 

"Get past her shooting your father with a Hunter's gun? Forgive me, but that is one of the most bullshit things you've ever said to me."

 

"Maybe not that, but what else has she done wrong?" I plead him mentally to not answer but of course it doesn't work. Mind control was not among Marcus's Gifts. Not that I would ever do it to Gabriel.

 

"She's lied to you. Worked with the Council against you. Probably even trained as a Hunter, considering she managed to shoot your father twice." He's quiet, waiting for me to answer. When I don't, he adds quietly, "What reason do you have to still trust her?"

 

I'm quiet for a while before I whisper:

 

"Isn't that how love is supposed to work?"

 

Gabriel takes a deep breath. I can see his hands gripping the cup, his knuckles white. He's quiet for a long time, and then he mutters, "Damn it, Nathan." He clears his throat and continues slowly. "You just can't seem to understand that you're not supposed to do anything. Out of anything that can ever happen to you, love is the one with the least rules, if any." He runs his hand through his hair. He does that when he's conflicted. "Do you think I force myself to stick with you through everything? Do you think I wanted to go with your wild plan to save Annalise when I knew that she was bad news? I went with you because I love you so much it _pains_ me to not be with you." He takes another deep breath, thinking what to say next. "That's what makes me stay. What does Annalise have that makes you stay?"

 

I don't know what makes me stay. Duty? I thought I knew but now I just don’t know. And that's what I tell Gabriel and he stands up and hugs me. I hug him back and we stay like that for who knows how long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few months have passed since the Council fell. Gabriel and I have decided to move to a cottage in Wales, my favorite place. I had insisted that he go to Gorges du Verdon, but he refused to leave me. And besides, he added, Wales had plenty of good climbing sites.

 

Annalise had been tried with one of Van's confession drugs, the one she had once used on Gabriel. Gabriel had been right about everything. She had been a spy for the Council since I was put in the cage, and she would have been executed if it wasn't for my mercy. She had still been the first White Witch to ever be kind to me outside my family; I wouldn't forget that easily. Instead she was sentenced to imprisonment for life. As she was being escorted out, she looked at me with a cold look in her baggy, bright blue eyes like frozen lake ice. I never thought she would be able to look like that.

 

Since moving, Gabriel and I have spent our time climbing, hiking, running, swimming, more climbing, and then repeat. We talk throughout all these activities. Who cares what subject we talk about, just hearing the other person and knowing you're not alone in this woodland paradise where there probably isn't another human soul for miles is nice.

 

Wales really helps me keep in harmony with the animal me. I can easily will him to come at any time, even if it's just for a leisurely stroll. So far my favorites are wolf, eagle, and domestic dog. (Gabriel's favorite. He could spend the day petting me and watching me fetch, which I swear at him about later but he smiles and knows I don't mind.) When I come home silent and bloody Gabriel knows enough not to talk to me until I'm out of the shower, when I am greeted with the smell of fresh croissants and coffee "a la Gabriel" as he calls it. He and I talk about it quietly and the croissants are warm and so are his embraces.

 

So far we have talked about everything except two things:

 

The first thing is us. Us, not individually but together. It's not like that kiss at Mercury's bunker never happened and all the kisses before and after that. It's a touchy subject; it can wait a while longer, not much.

 

The second thing is Annalise. Also a touchy subject. We've both avoided talking about her since the trial, but we both know it's still a thorn we have to remove.

 

I think the moment has come to discuss both things, but Gabriel beat me to it.

 

We're out in the woods one day under a massive oak tree when he says it. "In all these months, we've never talked about Annalise."

 

I grunt in acknowledgement but don't turn to look at him.

 

"Well?"

 

"What more is there to say? You were right about everything, I was blinded by what I thought was love, and she's a huge ass to have used me like that." I'm still not looking at him but I can feel his gaze.

 

"And?"

 

"I don't feel for her quite as much as I did when I was fourteen," I huff.

 

"And me?"

 

He's got me on that one. I still don't know what to make of Gabriel. I definitely feel something more than friendship but who knows what that is. I know he's stated time and time again how he feels, but me? I don't know yet, but I think I have an idea. Not that I would admit to it out loud. Especially not to him.

 

I sound like a lovestruck fain schoolgirl.

 

I've been quiet for a while now. Gabriel is still looking at me expectantly. Then he sighs and looks away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

 

"Don't be." I say without thinking. "I just haven't sorted everything out yet since the Annalise thing."

 

He's quiet. _Crap, did I say something wrong?_ He finally speaks. "At least you already know how I feel. Just don't do anything unless you're absolutely sure you want it." That's his way of saying _Don't keep me as a second-best_ politely.

 

He stands and starts to walk to the cottage but before he leaves I grab his hand and kiss it like I once did to Annalise.

 

He stands frigid. His fingers are stiff but warm to my lips. I stand up and wrap my arms around his waist gently. He still doesn't move, looking at me with warning eyes. He thinks I'm being impulsive. Maybe just a little. But who said I couldn't be? I look up at him and press my forehead to his.

 

"Nathan–" he whispers, breathless but still warning me about myself. I shut him up with my lips.

 

And slowly, Gabriel starts kissing me back.

 

And finally, I'm sure of what I want.

**Author's Note:**

> this could have been better written :,(


End file.
